i had to cook for office last night...
blakang aku sakit... so aku letak tiger balm...
it went to the point cam takleh bend langsung... nak jalan pun susah...

anyways, i had to stir the custard.. so i walked to the custard...
aku dah memasak for about 45 mins kot by then...
super hot...
makin lama aku tak nampak... gelap...
then sampai ke custard.. aku seriusly tak nampak walaupun mata terbukak luas...
then i feel my feet starting to buckle... turning to jelly..
aku rase sebab hilang balance kot.. i held on to the sink.. then aku cam mengigil
walaupun aku kepanasan... berpeluh2 dgn banyak secara tetiba...
aku panggil rafiq... still blind... aku risau nak tutup api custard, tapi aku tak nampak control die
rafiq datang.. by then aku dah takleh nafas.... aku nak muntah, aku nak tercirit.. mengigil....aku buta.. takleh berdiri...
die nak angkat aku... tapi dapur tak muat nak tetiba angkat aku (takkan nak ckp die tak larat angkat aku.. insult die, insult diriku gak..)
aku nak cirit and muntah gegila...aku dah terkentut2 dah, tatau aa rafiq dgr ke tak.. wat malu je... seb baik aku sembelit so taik keras so tak cirit...
seriusly that could have been such a catasthrope...

lepas tarik nafas banyak2 calm down.... minum air.... baring...
aku dah okay....


ni sama cam aku cuba workout time puasa last last year... kat ioi...
aku makin lama makin tak nampak... on the way to the restroom makin buta... and terasa nak muntah...
had to sit on the toilet till the vision came back...
time ni aku rase tak cukup air or too hot

semalam i dunno.. probably superhot.. tambah ngn tiger balm tu lagik..
tambah ngn back pain lagi... kat ioi aku tak backpain....

anyways.... dunno if its related to the pregnancy or what...
but ini la 2 masa yg aku rase sungguh lost control of my own body...
its a weird feeling.. i can think it, but nothing happens...