so i went to the dentist yesterday....
really hate going to the dentist...
had aa really traumatic experience 4 years ago... and after that everything is scary...
ko bayangkan die inject aku 8 kali... sebab die nak cabut gigi aku..
gigi patah akar tertinggal kat dalam.. and die nak korek akar guna playar..
siap kena jahit semua.... seriusly, i counted bapa kali die inject...

anyways.... since this decay is visible when i talk.. had to go lah...
i was procrastinating a lot..
but then i had to brace myself to do it...
if i cant handle a simple dental procedure... camne la nak give birth...
semalaman aku tak tido thinking about the blood test yg inevitably will come...
nak tau Rhesus positive or not.. blood type etc....
thats a lotta blood to take from me... arghhhh....
cant sleep...
but conclusion from it all.... have to go through it la...
lepas aku gi threading... aku rase sakit threading ni lagi sakit dari any injections aku rase...
(threading = yanking hairs by the roots from upper lips / facial area)...
cuma sebab tak penetrate kulit, aku tak cuak.... but jauh lebeh sakit dari injection....
so i guess it is all really in my mind....
i dont think im scared of the pain of injection...
im put off by the fact there is a long needle penetrating the skin into layers of tissue/muscle...
and involves blood.....basically invasive aa...

anyways, aku pegi gak dentist.. took 5 mins (not kidding) coz no one there and sebab aku tak procrastinate
teruk sangat, the decay was small.... so nyilu sket... but tak sakit...and everything is A okay again...

aku rase .. the right frame of mind, and steely determination is the only thing that will get me through all this
needle procedures.. (im not even thinking bout labour rite now okay....)

got my passport...
got a booth for ibu mengandung....
hmmph, betcha i wont pass for that booth...
sometimes aku rase tension tul org tatau yg first trimester is worse than 2nd trimester..
we're more tired, more nauseated... more hormonally imbalanced (read: bitchy)
but sooo sooo tired....no naps for me, how can? org mane paham ko nak nap jap.. if u have a belly, boleh la..
aku make up for it by sleeping at 9 or 10 pm..
no more watching miami ink for me..


tapi tula.. sedangkan 2nd trimester is the easiest one.. honeymoon time...
prenatal check up pon only once a month....
tapi org tgk ada belly, terus kesian and memahami...
penat bawak perut jela.. but no tiredness, no nausea vomitting headache etc...


anyways, best betul aku guna bedrest as an excuse for no gym...
i dont care bout weight gain...
i'll get it off after labor...
right now eating whateverrr i want.. (
which is, not much anyways.. but what i want is expensive...
i want chillies hahahaha, not due to cravings but due to it probably wont make me throw up...)
in the last 2 weeks.. went to chillies 3 times... i just want chips and salsa... alse a bit of beef queso..
no takoyaki for me.... dont even wanna think about it... no chocolate cravings...
ok no cravings at all yet... but chips really make me feel better...


water? lama gile tak minum clear water...
makes me wanna vomit... so ribena & milo... easy sugar .... my main drink..
also a tip to avoid nausea... eat and drink separately...... 15 mins apart at least...


seriusly, setakat ni.. tips semua aku laksanakan... coz hate this nausea so much..
and setakat nih.... no vomitting at all... zero.... 8 out of 12 weeks of the first trimester completed...
yeah... feeeling pretty cocky right now....

It is 100% positive, we are pregnant!!...



the only way to be 100% certain ur a pregnant is by ultrasound..
and blood test?..
but, as if i had any doubts la kan....
I took 3 pregnancy tests, all positive.. but that didnt make me believe it 100%...
aku rase, kot2 la HCG level aku tinggi due to other reason than pregnancy...
but the nausea + morning sickness... it is so awful, I just KNOW I AM pregnant..

Rafiq kata die berdebar jugak nak gi ultrasound, tgk2 takde mende kat situ...
hampas tul mamat ni.... hahahaha...
like I said, even if I didnt believe the 3 tests... the morning sickenss confirms it for me....

anyways the reason for the ultrasound was that I was bleeding a bit...
so went to see the SJMC gynae... she said the due date was 22 June.. and is 7 weeks ++.. kena alter balik ticker kat atas ni.....
damn, salah kira lagi aku.. apparently, my orginal calculation was correct..
and masa die nak buat ultrasound.. I was willing myself not to cry...
bukan sebab aku nak nangis.. but orang asik ckp they cried masa first time tgk ultrasound... so aku menahan in case that urge came.. but it never came because I was more anxious to know whether it is okay or not due to the bleeding....

anyways the doc said... rahim cantik... dalam semua cantik.. size-wise i suppose...
baby size also good and normal....
so I asked.. then bleeding is normal..? die kata No.....
die tunjuk la.. outside the uterus/placenta?? (i forgot).. u can see darkened areas right? die kata tearing of the uterus/placenta... and hormon aku produce for the baby tak cukup... as right now the baby can't produce its own hormon.... and kalau dibiarkan, antibodies aku will fight it (the walls i guess)... but wont recognize the baby as it is 50% me and 50% rafiq... so could cause miscarriage...

wah sungguh bersahaja die cakap... aku dah panic.. mungkin pasal tu kot die cakap rilex... 1st time pregnant women are known to be hysterical i guess... die kata take progesterone pills and fetus-dose aspirins.... and gave me MC for 7 days (the rest of this week and next week, 10 days rest)... shit, now I know it is kinda serius.. but MC SJMC tak diterima kot oleh MAS... and it is concerning the baby's health, not mine... MAS dont pay for labor and prenatal checkup (fetus health).. so entahla, dunno if this MC will be accepted.... agak sial disitu....


anyways this SJMC gynae ade klinik.. whereby charges murah sket compared to SJMC...
by day work kat SJMC.. malam keje klinik... and penuh gile la klinik tu.....
murah tak murah... RM 271 gak kena.. shitttsss....!!!
but RM160 was for medication...**sigh**...

p/s: btw there's just one in there.. i was kinda hoping for twins.. just because I only have to go thru this morning sickness once for 2 babies... it is that awful...

Week 7 - http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/calendar/week7

And how's mom doing? Your hormones are still out of whack because the placenta won’t take over hormone production for your little one for another couple of weeks. So until then, expect more of the same. At this point any close family or friends have undoubtedly noticed you’re a little more moody and/or irritable than usual. And there are probably times where you’re ready to tell the world off (maybe you already have), but it’s always worth the time and effort to explain to yourself and others the reason for your current emotional rollercoaster; you don’t have to be a monster just because you feel a little whacked out.

Focus on your breathing and energy levels. Take naps if you feel fatigued but don't forget the stress-reducing benefits of long walks outside for fresh air and exercise. Sit down if you start to feel nauseous, and take the time to eat healthy vitamin-rich foods when you’re hungry. Even though there’s no bi-weekly paycheck or boss, pregnancy is harder work than you might think and you need lots of positive physical and emotional energy to provide your baby with the safest strongest home possible.

Yeah, I'm in a bitchy mode...

okay 6 weeks and 3/4 days... no vomit yet...
so far so good....
nausea 24-7.... mornings are hell...
secepat mungkin i would have to grab dry crackers or chips or cereals...
the better i feel selepas makan...
seriusly.... there might be something to this low blood sugar-nausea theory...


before eating - nausea, feel like crap... nothing will taste good, dont wanna eat..

while eating - feeling kinda good.... nausea at lowest point.... eating feels good except ur kinda scared whether or not its gonna come up after this

after eating - still feels good, nausea low... but slowly creeping up....

mampus la asik kena makan je camni... eventhough no nafsu to eat.. but cuak jugak kalau terlebeh makan ke ape stuff will come up... but so far so good.....

aku kira-kira balik rupanya aku baru nak cecah 6 weeks...
(terlalu banyak cara nak kira, tapi website2 major semua kata due date 26/27 June)
so damn, more waiting to do...

and like clockwork.... morning sickness kicks in...
aku ingat aku dah okay (coz i though last week was the 6th week)..
rupanya harini baru start... and last night's sleep was awful...
and on the way to work, aku kena berlatih bernafas supaya tak vomit..
tgk rumah kaler oren pun aku dah terasa nak muntah..
im scared to eat... i ate bread and papaya... easy to come up...
kalau nak muntahkan nasik lemak.. memang haru la...

shittt... i thought i have tasted MS....
rupanye belum......
seriusly, God please make time go faster...

sometimes pregnant women are so OVERACTING...
cam aku tengok kat forum.. baru 2-3 minggu pregnant dah sakit2 blakang, pee-ing a lot.. etc...

tolong la weii... ku jamin kalau ko tak pregnent pon akan rase sakit2 tu tapi wont think twice about mentioning it.... feeling ur baby move?? shit tolong la, baby kau baru sebesar biji beras.... seriusly over analyzing nak mampos...

tapi this nausea memang takleh nak sangkal aa..... tolongla selamatkan.... okayla, akunye belum teruk lagi pon, coz baru nak masuk 6th week... i heard all hell breaks loose after 6 week... tapi nausea sikit pon aku tak suka, coz menganggu pemakanan aku, mood aku and etc.. i havent actually vomitted fully yet... ade once, dah sampai at the tip of my throat... tapi ku gagahkan jugak.. now i ready a plastic bag at hand... and i found out... although nausea is seriusly killing ur appetite, not eating worsens the morning sickness.... makes me wanna vomit even more... eating something really helps... i think tu pasal org dok muntah pepagi... coz they havent eaten through out the night..... but i am fully ready for the full force of morning sickness next week... im sure even my food pacing wont save me from vomitting ....hopefully it wont last beyond the 12 week.....