As I was cleaning my PC... bersedia untuk pindah ke KLIA...
I found this .txt document... I can't remember if I ever published it on my blog....
I think this is written a few weeks before I bought the Medela Freestyle lol

randoms things bout me...

1. i need a purpose in life.. cannot just "be" or just "exist".... and I am forever trying to find the purpose of life..

2. i talk to myself in my head... i talk to God in my head... (no I dont hear his voice... i just hear my voice thats talking to him)

3. i imagine scenarios in my head..... when Im pissed at someone, I imagine my revenge...

4. i also have this pebbly-like thing near my armpit.. not sure what it is...very very tiny, like a facial oil sack... masa kecik2 was afraid it will grow big as im growing (but it did not)

5. When im stressed, I play games in my head.... (example masa labor aritu, to distract from contractions aku main game blocks-bejewelled-like game in my head)

6. i like to read random pamphlet or catalogs alone in bed in my spare time.... its my guilty pleasure... (which is not much these days)

7. i think my legs are weird.. too stubby...

8. i am always in denial... macam masa my mom kena breastcancer... im like.. "nah she'll be fine"... i cant deal with the facts... i kinda refuse to see the bad side...
that is how I deal with bad situations... kalau kucing aku hilang, i'll just imagine she/he is captured by a good family... not lying dead in a drain somewhere...

9. i forget .. but dont forgive

10. i have low sanitary self hygiene.... if im somewhere requiring a toothbrush.. and I dont have one.. i'll use someone elses.... there was this one-year phase where I just used rafiq's toothbrush..
and if im out of undies.. i'll just use rafiq's (clean ones la).... he has a freakin lots of undies.. 3-4 times more than I do... what a weirdoo ... if im alone and my food fell on the floor, i'd pick it up and eat it
(depending on the floor lah)... but in front of other people, i'd pretend as if I have class and wont eat it... hypocrite..

11. i like romance novel, happy ending hindustani movies.. any thing with escapism... why watch something which makes u sad...

12. i think the world sucks.... there's cruelty everywhere... there's animal cruelty, child molestation, pollution etc etc... i feel bad bringing a child into a world like this..
how to protect from all these bad influence....  but I caved under pressure and got pregnant... will try my best to protect him...

13. i like to eat bland stuff... i think its yummy... oat, rye... which I think is good in effort to be healthy..

14. sometimes I do things/dress differently just to make a point to be different...

15. my feet collect dirt like crazy... more than other people (tapak kaki senang hitam)..

16. i am obsessive to achive what I want.. when I get it.. i'll move on to obsess on other things...

17. i make it a point to put myself first...  hubby 2nd, baby 3rd... it's a conscious effort not to lose myself...

18. i think my tricep is the hardest part on my body to tone....

19. i think.. post pregnancy... my belly is awesome!!.. a bit flabby.. but definately not what I would image a belly post pregnancy would be... no stretch marks at all..

20. i love britney... can't you tell..??

21. in greys anatomy... i think sloan is so hawtt!!! and lately.. so is dr. hahn.... oh ohh!!!

22. im bad at saving money....

23. until the age of 27... I ate with total disregard... if it had the word, "less fat" I wont buy it.... I want full cream milk.. full cream butter, full fat cheese... everything with the word "less".. i wont buy... was a total junkie..

24. i have bowel problems.... due to no 23.... previously I only poo-poo once or twice a week...

25. i hate ironing... i buy no-ironing required clothes... and made and MOU with rafiq (pre-nup agreement) that he need to iron his own clothes...

26. i didnt like babies.... when my siblings were babies.. i liked them.. but other people... i didnt like em... when I was 12, my baby cousin was hanging off my arms.. when I was lying down.. and she annoys me.. so I pushed her away, she fell to the floor...(nothing menyakitkan due to cushy pampers and cushy carpet, but still).. so when i was pregnant, i was really scared that i might hate my own baby....
but now... I like babies... even other people's... if they are annoying, I blame the parent.... not the baby....

27. it's hard for me to apologize with words to hubby... eventhough I was wrong...(which is rarely).... coz in previous relation I apologized for everything....

28. the bestes food in the world I have ever ever tasted.. china gate' crab cheese.... eaten in a cold wintry night... it is like a bite from heaven...

29. now, I like to watch ellen more than oprah... (especially now oprah is all into the giving back.. the big give etc... which is borrrrring)

30. right now.. what I want most in the world.. is medela freestyle breastpump.. I am obssed to owning it...