tido nyenyak lagi.. tapi ade mimpi.... so tak best sgt..
but syukurnya dapat actually tido....
hopefully weekend can sleep and wake up late.....

semalam makan monterey chicken lagi...... i love it....

p/s: comments activated ---> right nav bar

list taken from previous entry **UPDATED**
list of food i still feel like eating
======================================
1. chilli's monterey chicken
2. pizza bun
3. pau
4. lama tak makan beef don sakae sushsi... tingin gak
5. chic mush pie
6. lasagna daves deli
7. laksa ah chong summit
8. nasik pattaya

all eaten... hmm makin sket options yg tinggal.. have to rack my brains again..

tidur malam tadik pun nyenyak.....
the better you sleep, the more you dont want to get outta bed...
the worse you sleep.... lagi senang aku bangun.... buatpe tido pun, not really tido pon...

nausea... okla, dah back to normal level.. not the extreme level...
i'm really loving the oki oki rice cracker perica nippon sauce ....bought at watson..
mane lagi nak carik... damnnnn crave craveeee....

best sleep ever (since pregnancy) last night.....
even with the jamban calls 3 times... sleep was berkualiti....
tanak bangun je rase.....

i had to cook for office last night...
blakang aku sakit... so aku letak tiger balm...
it went to the point cam takleh bend langsung... nak jalan pun susah...

anyways, i had to stir the custard.. so i walked to the custard...
aku dah memasak for about 45 mins kot by then...
super hot...
makin lama aku tak nampak... gelap...
then sampai ke custard.. aku seriusly tak nampak walaupun mata terbukak luas...
then i feel my feet starting to buckle... turning to jelly..
aku rase sebab hilang balance kot.. i held on to the sink.. then aku cam mengigil
walaupun aku kepanasan... berpeluh2 dgn banyak secara tetiba...
aku panggil rafiq... still blind... aku risau nak tutup api custard, tapi aku tak nampak control die
rafiq datang.. by then aku dah takleh nafas.... aku nak muntah, aku nak tercirit.. mengigil....aku buta.. takleh berdiri...
die nak angkat aku... tapi dapur tak muat nak tetiba angkat aku (takkan nak ckp die tak larat angkat aku.. insult die, insult diriku gak..)
aku nak cirit and muntah gegila...aku dah terkentut2 dah, tatau aa rafiq dgr ke tak.. wat malu je... seb baik aku sembelit so taik keras so tak cirit...
seriusly that could have been such a catasthrope...

lepas tarik nafas banyak2 calm down.... minum air.... baring...
aku dah okay....


ni sama cam aku cuba workout time puasa last last year... kat ioi...
aku makin lama makin tak nampak... on the way to the restroom makin buta... and terasa nak muntah...
had to sit on the toilet till the vision came back...
time ni aku rase tak cukup air or too hot

semalam i dunno.. probably superhot.. tambah ngn tiger balm tu lagik..
tambah ngn back pain lagi... kat ioi aku tak backpain....

anyways.... dunno if its related to the pregnancy or what...
but ini la 2 masa yg aku rase sungguh lost control of my own body...
its a weird feeling.. i can think it, but nothing happens...

i thought the peak of the morning-sickness (all-day sickness) was during week 5-8 weeks... coz, the baby relied on the mum to produce hormons for him/her.... supposedly after week 9 or 10.. the baby should have a fully functional placenta that can produce its own hormons... not relying on the mother... thus the demise of morning sickness/nausea after the 12th week.....

tapi ni cam makin teruk je..
eating is not curbing the nauseaa anymore...
makin lama, makin banyak food yg masuk list memualkan...
i am practically doing breathing exercise whenever i feel like vomitting...
another symptoms yg baru datang.. the headache...
headache + nausea = no sleeep = constant fatigue...

im not taking any medication anymore.... panadol pun tak...
it is hell...
no weight gain yet.. eventhough i am constantly eating ...
i figured that whatever muscles i have, dah jadik fat skang ni... tu pasal no weight gain yet...

1 more week to go till aussie...

list of food i still feel like eating
======================================
1. chilli's monterey chicken
2. pizza bun
3. pau
4. lama tak makan beef don sakae sushsi... tingin gak
5. chic mush pie
6. lasagna daves deli
7. laksa ah chong summit
8. nasik pattaya

the only food that help curb the nausea.... sweetss
habisla gigi and buah pinggang aku...

things i

makin teruk aaa.... aku makin pening...
this headache is killing me....
memalam 40 kali nak pi jamban... bila gi, rase nak muntah..
malas nak makan gegula ilangkan nausea sebab malas nak gosok gigi....
it is amazing i havent vomitted yet, never ...sepanjang2 pregnant ni...
sungguh nauseous....... arghhhhhhh i hate it.....
i am tired... only because i dont get enough sleep...
i take benadryl to cause drowsiness...
it helped earlier.. but now, the headache and nightmares really cant make me sleep...


my biggest fear... coz i've read it happened to someone somewhere...
the baby just stopped growing...MC and the ultrasound technician couldnt find it...
org la citer.... aku cuak betul...
1 month till the next ultrasound is gonna be a looong loong timeee...
but i guess it should be preceeded by bleeding as a sign or what not..
cannot simply gone...
but heck, i wanna see it every weeeekk.... !!

follow up after a week:
no spotting/bleeding...
ultrasound even reflects that, less dark areas around the round area...
and the babe is the size of 9 weeks 3 days !...
last week it was the size of 7 weeks 4 days....
it grew that much in a week....
no wonder my belly is getting much bigger (alasan!! sebnanye sembelit, angin, crap, food)
it looks very very good the doc said..

and i can fly.... but cant lift anything heavier than 10lbs...
also still cannot exercise....
im cool with that....hahahahah
also, no more medications.. so the fee was RM105...
i can live with that...
next check up, in 1 month...
jimat duit, jimat masa (we waited 2.25 hours for our turn, it is crazyy)...
tapi sure nanti akan terkejut dgn kebesaran babe tu dalam ultrasound....

im so happy i can go to aussie... woohooo...
i really need a vacation...

lagi satu contoh orang yg ignorant about first trimester...
aku cakap kalau doc aku kata takleh fly.. aku tak gi la...
die pun cakap... ala baruuu je lagi.. (baru 2 months aa)...

yela, itu la point aku...
semua orang tatau the first 3 months ni la paling high risk of miscarriage...
1 in 8 pregnancies in the first trimester results in miscarriage...
lepas 3 bulan.. the chances of miscarriage drops to 5% or less...
so point die.. boyot2 pon, nampak sarat.. tapi tak bahaya nak naik flight...
sebab dah lebeh 3 bulan... jgn ko naik dekat ko nak deliver dah, takut takde doctor bukan takut gugur..

point aku, first 3 month ni la paling takleh nak buat pape...
tapi orang semua tak memahami and rase ko over gile...
sama cam org tak faham apsal ko penat sgt sedangkan ko tak boyot pon...
bukan depa tau 1st trimester ni adalah yg paling penat...
sebabnya: diorang tu yg tatau pape pon...

day-by day calendar


Embryo becomes a fetus! Congratulations! All organs necessary to sustain life are formed.

so i went to the dentist yesterday....
really hate going to the dentist...
had aa really traumatic experience 4 years ago... and after that everything is scary...
ko bayangkan die inject aku 8 kali... sebab die nak cabut gigi aku..
gigi patah akar tertinggal kat dalam.. and die nak korek akar guna playar..
siap kena jahit semua.... seriusly, i counted bapa kali die inject...

anyways.... since this decay is visible when i talk.. had to go lah...
i was procrastinating a lot..
but then i had to brace myself to do it...
if i cant handle a simple dental procedure... camne la nak give birth...
semalaman aku tak tido thinking about the blood test yg inevitably will come...
nak tau Rhesus positive or not.. blood type etc....
thats a lotta blood to take from me... arghhhh....
cant sleep...
but conclusion from it all.... have to go through it la...
lepas aku gi threading... aku rase sakit threading ni lagi sakit dari any injections aku rase...
(threading = yanking hairs by the roots from upper lips / facial area)...
cuma sebab tak penetrate kulit, aku tak cuak.... but jauh lebeh sakit dari injection....
so i guess it is all really in my mind....
i dont think im scared of the pain of injection...
im put off by the fact there is a long needle penetrating the skin into layers of tissue/muscle...
and involves blood.....basically invasive aa...

anyways, aku pegi gak dentist.. took 5 mins (not kidding) coz no one there and sebab aku tak procrastinate
teruk sangat, the decay was small.... so nyilu sket... but tak sakit...and everything is A okay again...

aku rase .. the right frame of mind, and steely determination is the only thing that will get me through all this
needle procedures.. (im not even thinking bout labour rite now okay....)

got my passport...
got a booth for ibu mengandung....
hmmph, betcha i wont pass for that booth...
sometimes aku rase tension tul org tatau yg first trimester is worse than 2nd trimester..
we're more tired, more nauseated... more hormonally imbalanced (read: bitchy)
but sooo sooo tired....no naps for me, how can? org mane paham ko nak nap jap.. if u have a belly, boleh la..
aku make up for it by sleeping at 9 or 10 pm..
no more watching miami ink for me..


tapi tula.. sedangkan 2nd trimester is the easiest one.. honeymoon time...
prenatal check up pon only once a month....
tapi org tgk ada belly, terus kesian and memahami...
penat bawak perut jela.. but no tiredness, no nausea vomitting headache etc...


anyways, best betul aku guna bedrest as an excuse for no gym...
i dont care bout weight gain...
i'll get it off after labor...
right now eating whateverrr i want.. (
which is, not much anyways.. but what i want is expensive...
i want chillies hahahaha, not due to cravings but due to it probably wont make me throw up...)
in the last 2 weeks.. went to chillies 3 times... i just want chips and salsa... alse a bit of beef queso..
no takoyaki for me.... dont even wanna think about it... no chocolate cravings...
ok no cravings at all yet... but chips really make me feel better...


water? lama gile tak minum clear water...
makes me wanna vomit... so ribena & milo... easy sugar .... my main drink..
also a tip to avoid nausea... eat and drink separately...... 15 mins apart at least...


seriusly, setakat ni.. tips semua aku laksanakan... coz hate this nausea so much..
and setakat nih.... no vomitting at all... zero.... 8 out of 12 weeks of the first trimester completed...
yeah... feeeling pretty cocky right now....

It is 100% positive, we are pregnant!!...



the only way to be 100% certain ur a pregnant is by ultrasound..
and blood test?..
but, as if i had any doubts la kan....
I took 3 pregnancy tests, all positive.. but that didnt make me believe it 100%...
aku rase, kot2 la HCG level aku tinggi due to other reason than pregnancy...
but the nausea + morning sickness... it is so awful, I just KNOW I AM pregnant..

Rafiq kata die berdebar jugak nak gi ultrasound, tgk2 takde mende kat situ...
hampas tul mamat ni.... hahahaha...
like I said, even if I didnt believe the 3 tests... the morning sickenss confirms it for me....

anyways the reason for the ultrasound was that I was bleeding a bit...
so went to see the SJMC gynae... she said the due date was 22 June.. and is 7 weeks ++.. kena alter balik ticker kat atas ni.....
damn, salah kira lagi aku.. apparently, my orginal calculation was correct..
and masa die nak buat ultrasound.. I was willing myself not to cry...
bukan sebab aku nak nangis.. but orang asik ckp they cried masa first time tgk ultrasound... so aku menahan in case that urge came.. but it never came because I was more anxious to know whether it is okay or not due to the bleeding....

anyways the doc said... rahim cantik... dalam semua cantik.. size-wise i suppose...
baby size also good and normal....
so I asked.. then bleeding is normal..? die kata No.....
die tunjuk la.. outside the uterus/placenta?? (i forgot).. u can see darkened areas right? die kata tearing of the uterus/placenta... and hormon aku produce for the baby tak cukup... as right now the baby can't produce its own hormon.... and kalau dibiarkan, antibodies aku will fight it (the walls i guess)... but wont recognize the baby as it is 50% me and 50% rafiq... so could cause miscarriage...

wah sungguh bersahaja die cakap... aku dah panic.. mungkin pasal tu kot die cakap rilex... 1st time pregnant women are known to be hysterical i guess... die kata take progesterone pills and fetus-dose aspirins.... and gave me MC for 7 days (the rest of this week and next week, 10 days rest)... shit, now I know it is kinda serius.. but MC SJMC tak diterima kot oleh MAS... and it is concerning the baby's health, not mine... MAS dont pay for labor and prenatal checkup (fetus health).. so entahla, dunno if this MC will be accepted.... agak sial disitu....


anyways this SJMC gynae ade klinik.. whereby charges murah sket compared to SJMC...
by day work kat SJMC.. malam keje klinik... and penuh gile la klinik tu.....
murah tak murah... RM 271 gak kena.. shitttsss....!!!
but RM160 was for medication...**sigh**...

p/s: btw there's just one in there.. i was kinda hoping for twins.. just because I only have to go thru this morning sickness once for 2 babies... it is that awful...

Week 7 - http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/calendar/week7

And how's mom doing? Your hormones are still out of whack because the placenta won’t take over hormone production for your little one for another couple of weeks. So until then, expect more of the same. At this point any close family or friends have undoubtedly noticed you’re a little more moody and/or irritable than usual. And there are probably times where you’re ready to tell the world off (maybe you already have), but it’s always worth the time and effort to explain to yourself and others the reason for your current emotional rollercoaster; you don’t have to be a monster just because you feel a little whacked out.

Focus on your breathing and energy levels. Take naps if you feel fatigued but don't forget the stress-reducing benefits of long walks outside for fresh air and exercise. Sit down if you start to feel nauseous, and take the time to eat healthy vitamin-rich foods when you’re hungry. Even though there’s no bi-weekly paycheck or boss, pregnancy is harder work than you might think and you need lots of positive physical and emotional energy to provide your baby with the safest strongest home possible.

Yeah, I'm in a bitchy mode...

okay 6 weeks and 3/4 days... no vomit yet...
so far so good....
nausea 24-7.... mornings are hell...
secepat mungkin i would have to grab dry crackers or chips or cereals...
the better i feel selepas makan...
seriusly.... there might be something to this low blood sugar-nausea theory...


before eating - nausea, feel like crap... nothing will taste good, dont wanna eat..

while eating - feeling kinda good.... nausea at lowest point.... eating feels good except ur kinda scared whether or not its gonna come up after this

after eating - still feels good, nausea low... but slowly creeping up....

mampus la asik kena makan je camni... eventhough no nafsu to eat.. but cuak jugak kalau terlebeh makan ke ape stuff will come up... but so far so good.....

aku kira-kira balik rupanya aku baru nak cecah 6 weeks...
(terlalu banyak cara nak kira, tapi website2 major semua kata due date 26/27 June)
so damn, more waiting to do...

and like clockwork.... morning sickness kicks in...
aku ingat aku dah okay (coz i though last week was the 6th week)..
rupanya harini baru start... and last night's sleep was awful...
and on the way to work, aku kena berlatih bernafas supaya tak vomit..
tgk rumah kaler oren pun aku dah terasa nak muntah..
im scared to eat... i ate bread and papaya... easy to come up...
kalau nak muntahkan nasik lemak.. memang haru la...

shittt... i thought i have tasted MS....
rupanye belum......
seriusly, God please make time go faster...

sometimes pregnant women are so OVERACTING...
cam aku tengok kat forum.. baru 2-3 minggu pregnant dah sakit2 blakang, pee-ing a lot.. etc...

tolong la weii... ku jamin kalau ko tak pregnent pon akan rase sakit2 tu tapi wont think twice about mentioning it.... feeling ur baby move?? shit tolong la, baby kau baru sebesar biji beras.... seriusly over analyzing nak mampos...

tapi this nausea memang takleh nak sangkal aa..... tolongla selamatkan.... okayla, akunye belum teruk lagi pon, coz baru nak masuk 6th week... i heard all hell breaks loose after 6 week... tapi nausea sikit pon aku tak suka, coz menganggu pemakanan aku, mood aku and etc.. i havent actually vomitted fully yet... ade once, dah sampai at the tip of my throat... tapi ku gagahkan jugak.. now i ready a plastic bag at hand... and i found out... although nausea is seriusly killing ur appetite, not eating worsens the morning sickness.... makes me wanna vomit even more... eating something really helps... i think tu pasal org dok muntah pepagi... coz they havent eaten through out the night..... but i am fully ready for the full force of morning sickness next week... im sure even my food pacing wont save me from vomitting ....hopefully it wont last beyond the 12 week.....