Biggest mistake ever... prolonging nursery... patut awal-awal aku campak masuk nursery... kecik2 die tak kisah pun sape, asalkan needs are met.... now amir dah big enough to differentiate faces... stranger anxiety etc.... susah pulak nak antar nursery.... aku pulak ade separation anxiety nih.... anxiety over amir's separation anxiety.... I'm not ready yet.... (will I ever be though??)...

ke nak buat style mak aku... campak je memana nursery tanpa belas kasihan... aku rase ni style parenting org dulu-dulu.... kalau tido nangeh, pun biarkan je supaya blajar self-soothe....jangan biasakan dukung... jangan biasakan etc etc nanti manja sangat.... (the opposite of attachment parenting -AP)... aku rase this opposite AP style parenting are so happening in the 80-s (aku tak ingat ape nama style parenting ni, dulu aku ade bace)... formula milk pun happening zaman 80's ni...

I'm not dissing my mom.. aku admire her for being able to do it, right now I dont think I can... I'm sure she did what she thought was the best (those 80's books says its best)... heck who knows whats best??? nanti tah2 amir bising pasal aku AP kan die... saying that AP-ing makes him unindependent ke etc.. who knows whats best..... we all do what we think is best...

I've always thought I could, baby gi nursery, me work... be a carear woman like my mom.. ... but susahnye... maybe mak aku dulu pun stress jugak.. just aku je tak nampak... tapi masa die campak aku merata2, masa aku dah beso... awal2 tu nenek aku jaga kot... 4-5 tahun kot... she already got another baby to focus on...

aku pun tatau ape aku merepek ni.... sure hope I dont screw him up...


What is separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage experienced by a child when separated from the primary caregiver. It typically manifests itself as crying and distress when a child is away from a parent or from home.

As time goes by and a child learns to feel safe in a new environment and secure that a parent or caregiver will return after an absence, anxiety over separation should fade.

The typical sequence of child development and parent/child attachment is as follows:

* First few months: Babies don’t differentiate much among caregivers and usually can be calmed by any loving person, regardless of relationship. This is why new parents often get more emotional the first time they leave an infant with a babysitter or at day care than the baby does!

* 7-14 months: By about 7 months, babies realize that there’s only one Mommy and/or Daddy, but they don’t have a sense of time, so even if parents step into the next room for a minute, all the baby knows is that they’re gone — maybe forever! — and they’re going to cry or cling or do whatever it takes to keep that from happening. This phase is often called “stranger anxiety,” because even the happiest child becomes shy or fearful around everyone but the primary caregiver, and generally peaks before 18 months.

* Toddler/preschool years: Children can be anxious and become emotional when a parent or primary caregiver leaves but can be distracted by activities with the caregiver or other children.

* By age 5: Most children are secure enough to be left with a babysitter or dropped off at school without distress.